Asked: "Why do you do what you do?" ...and I froze

So here’s how it works…if you put me on the spot, while in front of people, I freeze…My face turns red and my mind goes blank, and you get NOTHING!

I tell you that to tell you this…last night I was asked (without warning) to tell a group of people “Why I do what I do.” And I froze. You see, the truth is, I could go on and on about why I “do what I do” but in that moment, I couldn’t say a thing. Needless to say, I haven’t thought much about anything else since then (obviously – I’m blogging about it), even though it’s likely that nobody else even gave it a second thought. It embarrasses me, but it shouldn’t…it’s who I am.

But now I want to answer the question...
I “do what I do” because I feel that THIS is what I’ve been called to do. Second to being a wife to Nathan and a mom to my kids, this is not only what I do, it’s who I am. I started helping people a long time ago with their money…on yellow pads…because they said they needed help. I’ve participated in the “classes” and I’ve lived – I’ve made mistakes with my money; I’ve felt hopeless and confused; I’ve felt like a failure because of financial choices that I (we) made. I’ve also had success with my money. I know what works and what doesn’t because not only have I messed up, but I’ve walked with so many others, to get through what they have messed up.

When I started helping people professionally, I knew this was what I was supposed to do! Has it been hard? Sure – I’ve worked hard for people who have rejected me. I’ve had people be ungrateful and ugly to me. But what I get most is “Thank You” and tears – happy tears. When I can see that I am using what God gave me to change people’s lives, I know I’m where I’m supposed to be.

I “do what I do” because I believe God called me to do it. I “do what I do” because people need me to do it. I “do what I do” because people CAN change their lives and I get to be a part of that. I “do what I do” because I know that people are scared and hurting over their finances. I know that they are embarrassed and feel isolated. I “do what I do” because nobody else is doing it. No one else is telling people the truth with their best interest at heart.

Dan Sturm and I believe that we can change the financial culture in America. We can change the way Americans relate to their money. We are Dano’s Debtbusters. We don’t sell anyone else’s products. We don’t sell your information to companies so they can advertise to you. We don’t get kickbacks from other financial services. We believe in educating consumers and teaching them how to take control of their money.

When someone is ready to change their life, I am honored to be a part of that. I don’t know why God chose me for this, but every day I am humbled for the opportunity to “do what I do.”

Why the Switch to Products?

You probably already know that I am a Debt Coach with Dano's Debtbusters and that we teach people not only how to get out of debt, but how to stay out...by educating them about money. You may have also heard that we are about to launch our 1st web-based education product and you may be wondering...Why the change?


Let me clarify first, that Debt Coaching and Debt Education Products are not exclusive of each other. We have found with Debt Coaching that we just can't help enough people. We know that people go to bed at night and pray that God will help them with their financial problem, and then they cry themselves to sleep. At Dano's Debtbusters, we pray that God sends us! We know we can help people; we have been changing people's lives for over 10 years now.

The problem we face is that there are too many people struggling for us to sit down with all of them, individually! I only "work" 10 hours /week because I "stay home" and raise our kids. Even if I worked "full-time" I am still limited to the Knoxville area, and to 40 hours / week. Now, I’m not the only coach, but there aren’t near enough of us to help enough people.

That’s the problem, here’s our solution: We have started the process of turning our Debt Coaching into Debt Education Products that are available to everyone. We are still available for coaching, but with web-based education courses, tools and products, we can help everyone! Not only can we help someone across the country from us, but we can also change the world!

Our goal is to become the largest Debt Education company in the world! We are on a crusade to change the way Americans relate to their money. You see, we already know that money won't solve money problems. We already know that you spend every penny you make, and if you made more, you would just spend it too! We know that the word “budget” scares you, but we at DDB know, that a budget will FREE you!

Hey America! If you are ready to change your life financially, we are ready for YOU!

Watch for information about how you can be a part of this!

How did I pay $1.31 / gallon for gas this morning, you ask???

The Kroger / Shell deal:

Kroger does fuel points…for every dollar you spend at Kroger (excluding alcohol, cigarettes, etc.) you earn 1 fuel point.  When you accumulate 100 fuel points, you can use your Kroger card at Kroger gas pumps, or at any Shell station and receive $0.10 / gallon off of your fill-up.  You can redeem up to $2.00 discount at a time (previously $1.00)

Kroger also offers (everyday) 2X fuel points when you buy gift cards from them (excluding Kroger, Visa prepaid, and a few others).  For example, if I buy a $25 gift card, I receive 50 fuel points.  If I buy $25 in groceries, I receive 25 fuel points.  A few times each year Kroger offers 4X fuel points on gift cards, so  $25 gift card, earns you 100 fuel points.   The last time they offered this, we were buying a play set from the Home Depot, so we picked up the gift cards from Kroger first.

Here’s how we earned so many fuel points during May:

End of year teacher gifts, birthday gifts, and graduation gifts.

I got my husband a $15 Subway gift card (Subway is his “back-up” lunch sometimes) giving us 60 fuel points.

I bought myself a $15 Starbucks gift card earning us 60 points.

We knew we were going to spend over $100 at the Home Depot, so we purchased a Home Depot gift card from Kroger which earned us 400 fuel points.

We also bought $300 in Shell gift cards, giving us 1200 fuel points.

Our regular groceries earned us around 450 fuel points for the month.

We racked up a little over 2600 points in May.  We used 2,000 points today and recieved a $2.00 discount when we fille up.  The next fill-up we can use our remaining 600 points and recieve a $.60 / gallon discount.  We took both cars (to maximize the number of gallons purchased at the discount) to the pump, scanned our Kroger card first, and then used one of our Shell gift cards.

Here’s my advice on buying the gift cards – only buy them for stuff you know you will use.  It doesn’t do you any good to spend $500 on gift cards to save $50 at the gas pump… However, we always try to buy gift cards from Kroger (because we shop there anyway) if we know we are going somewhere.  We usually buy Shell gift cards as well...Shell is where we buy gas anyway.  They have a big selection…iTunes, a lot of restaurants (fast food and sit down), Gas, Jiffy Lube.

Points accumulate in the same month, but don't accumulated from month to month but you have until the end of the following month to use points.  I can use my May points during May and June.  July 1st, they expire.

Here's a link to Kroger's website for more details...

Gift cards: 
http://www.kroger.com/gift_center/gc/Pages/default.aspx

Fuel Points:  ...I can't get the Fuel Points link to open...but if you go to "In Store" and select "Save on Fuel" from the pull-down menu, you can check back later.  I know it exists, I've read it before!

An update on Kids & Money

So, the 5yr old earned his first $10! I supplied him with a few DDB envelopes, and we got to it… He put $1 in his “Tithe” envelope. He put $2 in his “Savings” envelope. He put $7 in his “Spending” envelope and off to Target we went!
He was a little sad when he learned that most of the toys (Legos anyway) were more than $7. What he really wanted was the $90 Star Wars Lego set! I told him he could have it, after about 15 more “$10”s.
He settled on a Lego set for $5 & change. He was proud to hand his dollars to the cashier, and was proud to tell everyone that he had earned the dollars that he spent to buy the toy.
One of the hard things for me, was being in Target and watching my child “really want” an $8 or $9 toy when he only had $7. Even though the goal is to teach him financial responsibility, in that moment, I wanted to cover the extra dollar or two for him, so that he could have what he wanted...I like to make my kids smile as much as anyone else! However, I had decided (before we went in the store) that I would not do that. Nathan & I decided that in order to teach him not to spend more money than he has, we can’t allow him (while we still have the control) to spend $9 when he only has $7. We also don’t want to teach him that mom & dad will just pick up any extra cost that he may incur…irresponsible kids become irresponsible adults, after all.
He has since earned another “$10” and has decided he wants a $27 Light Saber. We have been talking about how many more “$10” he needs to earn, in order to buy that toy. We have also introduced him to Craigslist – where he can give away less of his dollars to buy the same toy, used.
It’s also been a good way to tell him how much things cost. When he wants something in the store, we just tell him how many dollars it costs and that he is welcome to spend his money on it…
So far, our efforts to teach him about money are going well!

So, we're teaching the kids about money...

I think that one of our jobs as parents is to teach our kids to become successful adults. Dr. Phil used to say (and probably still does) that you aren’t raising children, you’re raising adults. So, here’s my conflict…

First, I don’t think kids should get an allowance for doing chores. Nobody pays me to pick up after myself, to clean or to cook. I believe that as a member of this family, each person has responsibilities and should contribute to overall value of life for our family. While I can’t expect the 2yr old to clean the toilet, I can expect her to put her dirty clothes in the hamper.

Next I will say that it is the parent’s job to teach their children about money. People don’t do a bad job of managing their money because they are stupid, they do it because no one taught them what to do. My kids will not learn to give and to save if I never teach them. Nor, can they learn the value of a dollar, if they don’t have practice using dollars.

So here’s what we have come up with after talking to different parents about what they do. Our 5yr old has a list of behavior / tasks to do each day. Each behavior / task that he completes earn him a “star” (a sticker) At the end of each day, if he has earned all of his possible stars, he earns $1. When he earns $10, he will give $1 to the local church that we are part of, he will save $2, and he will have $7 to spend. Then, when we go to the store and asks for a toy, we can start the conversation of how many dollars he has vs. how many dollars it costs to buy the toy.

Right now, his behavior / tasks are things like: brush your teeth & comb your hair (the 1st time you are asked), do your homework (takes 5 minutes), good behavior at dinner time (he knows what this means), put shoes, jacket, & backpack away, etc. We have already begun to change his chart around so that it somewhat challenging, but still do-able. We will continue to change it to be consistent with his abilities.

Again, I don’t really believe we should PAY him for doing these things, however, money that can buy toys is incentive, and allows us to teach him how to handle his money.

I would love some feedback / opinions. What do you do? What have you tried? What works at your house?

If you want to have success in your life, you have to put in the work.

I heard (or read) this recently “If you want to have success in your life, you have to put in the work” and it reminded me of a conversation I recently had with a friend.

I was talking to this friend, who is a very successful business man, and he was telling me that someone had recently told him: “when life hands you lemons, you know how to make lemonade.” He corrected their statement like this… No, when life hands me lemons, I cut the lemon open, get the seeds out, plant them, grow lemon trees, sell the lemons I’ve grown to the retailers, all while continuing to cultivate and harvest more lemons.

My friend didn’t become successful overnight. He didn’t win the lottery. He didn’t get where he is by accident. He has worked hard to be where he is today, it wasn’t easy for him. It may look like it’s easy for him now, because others can see him enjoy the fruits of his labor.

The truth is, most of us just want the rewards, but we don’t want to do the work associated with creating or reaping the reward. The reason success doesn’t come easy to you is because success doesn’t come easy to anyone. Success comes by hard work and perseverance. You won’t be successful in your career, health, family, or finances until you decide you are ready to do what it takes.

If you hired me as your personal trainer to teach you how to lose weight, and I told you to stop eating junk food and to get on the treadmill, but then you continued to eat the junk and refused to get your butt on the treadmill, you can’t get mad at me if you never lose any weight!

I have had people hire me as their debt coach and then cancel their membership after a few months because they aren’t seeing results. Can I just tell you, very plainly, that I can’t make you get out of debt. If I show you what to do and you refuse to do it, then I can’t help you. You can pay me to coach you forever, and you still won’t get results if you won’t do the work. I can’t decide for you that you are ready to get out of debt. You have to decide for yourself that you are ready to change your life and accept the coaching. The only people that I can help are the ones that want to change and are willing to put in the work.

Is hiring a Debt Coach good for your marriage?

I met with a client today who I have been working with for just over a month. We are so excited about their progress. When I first spoke with them, they were behind on several things and were additionally incurring NSF fees from their bank and were utilizing the cash advance place. Today they are caught up on everything (except for 1 which will be paid to current next week). They also have a little money saved and have not accrued any more debt. They have paid cash for birthday festivities for one of them and been able to start tithing again. By November, we should have their first debt completely paid off as well as over $500 in their Emergency Fund. And then in December, they will pay cash for Christmas! While all of this is very exciting to me, it isn’t even the best part…

She told me that while having a conversation with her husband about their money, something came up that, in the past, had triggered a “huge fight.” She said that this time, they shrugged a little, decided to do better in the future, and moved on. Because they now had a plan and were taking control of their money, something that used to make them fight, no longer did, they were able to just move on from it!

Now, I am by no means a marital counselor, but knowing that the most frequent reason given for divorce is money, I can’t tell you how excited it makes my heart that this couple now has the skills and support to communicate & be on the same page about something that used to make them fight!

I am so humbled that they have chosen me to help them!